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"Look! I can do puppet shows with my gloves!"

"Okay, time for the annual CHP rectal exams."

"I have to wear these gloves when I color my hair and give myself a perm."

"Dr. Arliss, report to the O.R., stat!"

"Yes Bonnie, I am also a state certified beautician"

Nurse, that's not exactly what I mean when I say "suction".
   -Tim L.

"These are my make believe puppet friends..Harley and Davidson"

CHP Puppet Theatre proudly presents.... Ponch and Judy!

I left no prints! Why did you suspect me?

"Your still my friend, right?"

Don't touch me, I'm sterile!

Harlan simply could not tell his left hand from his right. Sad, really.

"LambChop, now that you've finally left Shari Lewis for good, I promise I'll make you the happiest sock puppet the world has ever seen!"

Yes Grossie, I am qualified. Now, bend over the table

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You are getting verrrry sleepy.....

"If you really must know Grossie, but please don't tell the girls, I keep Vasoline in this sock."

"You talkin' to ME?" "HEY!You talkin' to ME?!"

Sock it to me,baby!

i like to play with socks

Who would have thunk it? Kerosene and a lit match. Man, I love this job!

"I sure wish I would have had these babies yesterday when I was working on the K-9 units"

Alright everyone, bend over and spread those cheeks. Time for a lube job!

Remeber, you're fine as long as you only feel one hand on your shoulders

Richard Simmons "Sweat Socks to the Oldies"

I wouldn't want to get my garage dirty!

This is what a condom feels like?

You're right. Next time I'll order the rubber gloves and not the rubber mittens.

"I got my hand cut off.... sweeeeet."
   -Queenie Z

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