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"Oh! Grossie! Put on a shirt! Geez!"

"Hey Jon...please tell me that's your billy club sticking into my back side."

Ponch and Jon enter the break room and are shocked to discover that Grossie has eaten all the snacks.

Ponch and John burst into the crack house only to find that Cagney and Lacey got there first.
   -Tim L.

"CNN is now able to confirm that the voters of California have overwhelmingly approved the proposed Highway Patrol uniform changes. Beginning Monday, all officers must report in matching tan G-strings and bikini bras. This includes both male and female officers."

Gawd Harlan, I think that comes under the heading of animal cruelty

That's right John, we've decided to replace you with a guy who looks like you only younger, bigger, and dumber so we can make Estrada's acting look better.

Whos next for a hair cut??

Wha?? You want US to go undercover at that nudist colony???

Sindy ahh can we join in too?

Stand back, Jon! I'll handle the Secretarial Pool Revolt! There's only 112 of them!

OK, who's up for Taco Bell?

"Hey Baker, why is the sarge carrying a kangaroo whip?" "I don't know, partner, but I have a feeling we're in big trouble."

"Good morning, officers! Today, for briefing, we're going to view a story put on film the world has never seen before, touchingly entitled "Elvis goes to China."

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Ponch and Jon are quite surprised to find Hugh Hefner hosting the annual CHP Christmas party.

"Hey,Jon!Who's the dude hanging on to Bonnie?" "Some guy named Clinton from Arkansas".

Eew! And we drew diaper detail. Must have gotten on Sarge's bad side.

"Do you think they're real?"
   -Damien S

"Grossie, I know its your birthday, but you don't have to give everybody lap dances"
   -ponch's angel

Oh, feelin' good partner! Now a little to the left, yeah, thats it...

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